My Chains Are Gone

For the past couple of weeks, a war has waged in my heart: a war between the Spirit and my flesh (which has found an ally in the whispered lies of the enemy). I have lived between the tension of grace and shame. There have been moments that I have gratefully sought shelter in the shadow of the Cross and moments that I have tried to climb up on that Cross and blasphemously become my own messiah.

As I sat the other night listening to traditional hymns and carols sung in worship (as was their original intention), the words of the songs washed over me. One song in particular was Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone). As I sang the words, the enemy (and my heart) condemned me saying, you can't sing those words honestly...you still have some pretty heavy chains.

But then...

Grace spoke. The Holy Spirit shut the mouth of the enemy and my heart. He said, yes, your chains ARE gone. Jesus, God wrapped in flesh, Emmanuel, came and lived the life you should have but couldn't and died the death you should have but won't. And that's not all. He rose and intercedes for you even now.

"for whenever our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and He knows everything." (1 John 3:20)

AND HE KNOWS EVERYTHING.

He knows the filth I've thought. He knows the self-righteousness I've felt. And yet He does not condemn me!

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit." (Romans 8:1 - 4)

My chains ARE gone!
I HAVE been set free!
My God MY Savior has ransomed me!
And like a flood, His MERCY reigns...
Unending love, amazing GRACE!

Sudan - Part Two

While in Sudan, we had the privilege of working with Bishop Taban. He and his wife, Grace Ann, were a blessing to know. Their love for the Lord and for the people of Sudan and beyond was convicting. They have a vision for the fulfillment of the Great Commission. Through the network of their churches and ministries, they are empowering people all over Africa to spread the gospel by loving orphans, training pastors, educating the people, funding clinics, creating jobs...the list goes on and on.

Will you pray that the Lord would bless and increase their work there? Will you pray how you can help the people of Sudan? Here are a few ways you can help:

Aid Sudan - make a donation or buy a radio by which people may hear the gospel

His Voice for Sudan - help build an orphanage

Actions Speak Louder - purchase a great song and contribute to His Voice for Sudan

His Voice Global Silent Auction - attend this event which will feature a screening of the documentary The New Sudan



You might be wondering what Matt is wearing in the photo at the beginning of this post. While we were in Sudan, Matt was officially made a bishop. There was a ceremony and everything! It was a huge honor. We were humbled to be a part. Here are a few more photos of the ceremony:

Thanksgiving

I hope to finish the series on Sudan I started well over a month ago! Until then, I just wanted to share some thoughts about Thanksgiving 2010.

Thanksgiving Day 2009 rocked our world when Matt suffered a seizure and soon after we discovered he had anaplastic oligodendroglioma (malignant brain tumor). As I laid my head down to sleep that night I couldn't have imagined what yesterday, a whole year later, would look like.

It was so...normal.

Not long after Matt was released from the hospital and rehab, I remember lying in bed wondering what the new "normal" would be. I longed for the old "normal."

Yesterday was beautifully, wonderfully normal. And, I thank God for that. I thank Him that I've known the new normal and the old normal. I thank Him that I can appreciate the sweetness of predictability because I have felt Him sustaining me in the unsettling of the unimaginable happening.

Thanksgiving Day 2010 may have been boringly predictable for you or frighteningly not. My prayer is that you would know the Rock who is unshaken. There is nowhere else for us to stand.

"On Christ the solid rock I stand; all other ground is sinking sand."

George Clooney on Sudan

I'll be back soon with more from our trip to Sudan but in the meantime I wanted to share this interview with you:

Sudan - Part One

There is almost so much, I don't know where to start. Forgive me if I struggle to make sense. The beginning of a story seems the most natural place, so I will do just that.

Matt's first few rounds of the current chemotherapy protocol was tough. It laid him out for a couple of days. This reaction prompted him to cancel all but two previous engagements on his fall schedule. There were some huge opportunities and events that he had to unfortunately decline. This all happened in the spring. At the end of June, we found out there were some openings on a Village Church team trip to Sudan. With an historical referendum coming up in January, we knew this would be our best shot at visiting this country. We accepted the positions only three months away from the departure date.

There was a part of me that wasn't sure it would pan out for me. Maybe it was that subconscious piece that protects my heart from pain. I really wanted to go.

As the trip details starting to take shape, I realized I would be among three women who would be teaching a women's conference--a first for our sister church in Sudan. I would not consider myself a teacher. Honestly, I just don't know if I am or not. I've had very few opportunities to exercise that gift. I am much more comfortable singing or leading worship. However, even that comfort has come with a decade of using that gift. Either way, I was needing to prepare to teach biblical womanhood to a group of women with whom I had little in common culturally. I knew I could get by with sharing thoughts about biblical womanhood with women whose lives looked like mine but what on earth would I have to offer these women??

I felt the Lord saying to me (often through others) that He had prepared me in advance and would give me everything I would need. He delivered.

My friend Dawntoya Thomason and I (the third woman was unable to make the trip) taught 20 Sudanese women biblical womanhood 5 hours a day for 5 days. Teaching stretched and challenged me more than anything I'd ever experienced in such a short amount of time. I have never felt the Lord nearer. In the States, I can start off with time in the Word and quickly go on with my life, "leaving" Him at my dining room table. In Sudan, I had to depend on Him for every word, every breath, every step. I felt Him upholding me constantly. I am grateful for your prayers because I KNOW they were working something amazing! In our first session, two women came to faith. Praise the Lord!

Though we had to communicate via interpreter, the Lord communicated His truth to the hearts of our hearers. They were so grateful to receive instruction. It was life to them. Simple truths that we who've grown up in the church take for granted were treasured gems to these women. Knowing they were created in the image of God brought new meaning to their life. Knowing they were created for the glory of God brought greater purpose to their everyday. Knowing they were created for fellowship with God brought a profound peace.

I want to share with you a few of these faces. Will you pray that the Word taught to them will have found fertile soil in their hearts?

There's still much more to share. Stay tuned...

Sudan Sneak Peek

I'll be posting thoughts and more pictures from Sudan but I wanted to just give you a peek for now. These sweet girls live in an orphanage close to where we stayed. They are precious.

300 Days.

Exactly 300 days ago, life as we knew it was forever changed.

300 days ago, I wasn't sure how many more days I would have with my husband.

300 days ago, I wasn't sure of the quality of those remaining days.

300 days later, my healthy, whole husband and I are boarding a plane for the other side of the world.

300 days later, we are preparing our hearts to refresh the saints and shine the light of the gospel in Sudan.

300 days ago, God was good and did good.

300 days later, God is good and does good.

May He be forever praised!